Bad Attitude

We are in Idaho visiting Jeremy's family for a week. We do this every year and every year I complain and try to find a way, ANY way to get out of going. I think Jeremy finally got sick of all my whining and told me he would go without me. Wahoo! Finally a year off.
I love Jer's parents. They are great to us and I always really like seeing them. I don't like driving 1400 miles to have Jeremy go off for a week of "guy time" while I watch the unruly kids. Don't get my started on all my reasons for not wanting to come, but him going off for a week of fun and rest is the main reason. So when Jer presented the idea of my staying home I was thrilled. Then I really thought through what that would entail. It would mean that the kids would not get to see their grandparents. Jer's dad and stepmom hadn't seen Kylee yet and really how often do our kids get to see their grandparents when we live so far away.

So I gave in and decided to go out to Idaho, yet again. I guess I finally realized that this is my fate and it is just our inevitable summer ritual. Now matter how much I dread it. (I mean hoping for a natural disaster instead of wanting to go is how I feel).

So on the ride out here I was excited to spend time with Jeremy and the kids but not too excited for what the rest of the week would hold. But as I saw my kids' reaction to seeing their grandparents it hit me. THIS TRIP IS NOT ABOUT ME. This trip is about my kids seeing their grandparents and getting to know them better and if I prevent that in any way, I am doing both groups a HUGE disservice. It just melted my heart when Price sprinted over to his grandpa and jumped in his arms. Then as they went around the farm Price was SO excited. He was totally in his element. I don't know how we'll get him home. And when they saw Grandma H. they all yelled her name and came running for hugs. I wish I could capture those moments in pictures and remind myself of why I come here.

I also realized that by changing my attitude I could change how this whole trip turned out. I could be a sour pickle and have a horrible time or I could make an effort to have fun and plan some things to do and actually enjoy my time here. I don't know why that was such an epiphany for me, but it was.

So for our first whole day here we had a GREAT day. We took the kids to this Youth Jam Festival. They had all sorts of crafts for the kids to do and then they had musical instruments for the kids to play and a drum line playing. The kids had a great time. I think there were too many things to make with paint and glitter, but the kids liked it and I don't feel guilty throwing them away now that they are asleep. We then hit Cafe Rio for a little pork tostada (how can I be in a bad mood there?) Then tonight I was able to go to the temple. I think that was what made the biggest difference to me.
So hopefully this year will be a turning point for me in my attitude for coming here. I know it won't always be a bed of roses, but hopefully I won't get the urge to vomit when I think of coming. And hopefully I can take this lesson and use it in different areas of my life.